Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Top 10 MMA Movie Ideas

With so many MMA movies coming out this year, I figure I'll give the producers some ideas.

10. No Country for Weak Chins- A thriller with James Thompson in the starring role. After Thompson stumbles upon dead bodies, heroin and 2 million dollars in cash, easy knockouts ensue in this action-packed film. Also starring Andrei Arlovski.

9. The Terminator 4: Rise of Andor- In this exciting film starring Anderson Silva and Fedor Emelianenko, parts of both the machines are put into one super robot and sent back into time to prevent the extermination of the human race. Andor becomes a worldwide role model.

8. Saving Private Franklin- An epic drama starring Rich Franklin. Franklin signs to fight Anderson Silva again, while friends and family do everything in their power to prevent it. Franklin's wife says, "come on honey I like your nose where it is".

7. Groundhog Day 2- Starring Quinton Jackson and Wanderlei Silva. Jackson relives the same day over and over as he tries to escape the many knees to the face. No matter what strategy he uses the day always ends the same as he wakes up looking at his own blood and dangling on the ropes. The movie also explores Jackson's better side in fighting Chuck Liddell.

6. How High 2- A euphoric comedy starring Nick Diaz and Joe Rogan. Nick decides to one day smoke something magical, which eventually helps him to beat one of the best lightweights in the world.

5. Earmageddon- A thrilling disaster film starring Randy Couture, Matt Lindland and Dan Henderson. When a deadly outbreak of cauliflower ear sweeps the nation, the top 3 experts in the field are brought in to prevent disastrious results.

4. Being Dana White- A fighter discovers a portal into the UFC president's mind. For 15 minutes you see, hear, and feel whatever DW is doing, then you fall out by the New Jersey Turnpike. Dana decides to sell these trips for $49.99, but eventually everyone sees him for what he really is.

3. The St. Pierre Redemption- After being wrongly accused of losing to a mediocre fighter, GSP sets out for redemption. He eventually forces the fighter to tap out and apologize.

2. The Assassination of Randy Couture by the Coward Dana White- Dana White, who's idolized Randy Couture since childhood, tries hard to join Randy's gang, but gradually becomes resentful of the fighting leader. Things finally come to a head when Dana begins vastly underpaying fighters.

1. Sean Sherk and the Holy Needle- King Sherk and his knights embark on an adventure for the Holy Needle. They pretend to fight clean, but eventually find themselves at a trial. Co-starring Tim Sylvia, Stephan Bonnar and Ken Shamrock.


Geoffrey said...

Hahaha, these are hilarious. Did you think of them all yourself?

Rocky VII-XXI: The Randy Saga.
Randy Couture overcomes seemingly insurmountable odds in each and every movie in the series, including thrilling knockout victories over Bruce Lee's reanimated corspe, a visiting Neo from the Matrix, a unanimous decision over seventeen cloned Rickson Gracies, and a stunning armbar victory over Father Time himself. Eventually boredom and a new game catch up to him, as the legal contract proves to be his undoing in the final movie of the series.

Co-starring: Vitor Belfort, Chuck Liddell, Tim Sylvia, Gabriel Gonzaga and Dana White.

Anonymous said...

nice job!! gordogabriel

Geoffrey said...

Scarface: The Forrest Griffin Story

Pirates of The Octagon: At Fight's End
Epic story of the UFC and a cursed judge, forced to render inexplicable winning decisions to losing fighters.
Starring Cecil Peoples, Michael Bisping and Matt Hamill. Alternate Title: Mr. Magoo 2.

Move over Dailai Lama, there's a new reincarnated deity in town! After winning two fights in mixed martial arts, Kimbo Slice is suddenly fixed in the imaginations of white Americans, as the second incarnation of Mr. T! Refusing to listen to the original Mr. T's pleas that he isn't dead yet, the American public continually confuses the two, resulting in wacky mix-ups like Mr. T in an MMA match and a near-sighted barber trying to sculpt Kimbo's bald head into a Mohawk! Will the duo ever convince whitey they're really two different people? Find out March 16, 2010!
Starring: Mr. T, Kimbo Slice, Ving Rhames, Samuel L. Jackson, Laurence Fishburne and Ken Shamrock.

Spiders On A Plane.
Anderson Silva and Kendall Grove have an unlikely meeting on an airplane, and engage in an epic duel to determine once and for all, who the real "Spider" is!
Runtime: 4 min 21 sec. (T)KO, Silva W.

Mal said...

geoffrey stop posting comments on this please. your ideas are not funny. the "spiders on a plane" was a particularly weak effort.

Anonymous said...

wow, those are classic.

Geoffrey said...

"geoffrey stop posting comments on this please. your ideas are not funny. the "spiders on a plane" was a particularly weak effort."

Anytime, buddy. Always good to hear from my #1 fan.

Anonymous said...

i was somewhat enjoying them. I actually might go see scarface.

Anonymous said...

A movie idea that i'd think would actually would be good is the No Country For Weak Chins. With Thompson and Arlovski in it, it should be an action packed film.

Anonymous said...

actually, the Spiders on a Plane bit was hilarious. gj geoffrey.

Anonymous said...

geoffrey killed it

G-Off said...

"geoffrey killed it"

I killed YOU.

Anonymous said...

oh my god this list is hilarious. so creative wow. really gj with this one.